We'll Get Through It Together Part 1
by everlasting-oranges
Summary: COMPLETE Jamie is recovering from leukemia, when she makes a choice that will effect herself and Landon for the rest of their lives.
1. The Big News

Landon Carter strolled up to the door, keys in hand, and opened the door. "Jamie?" he called up the staircase.  
"I'm in here!" she called from the living room. Landon walked in to see his angel, still weak but gaining strength daily, and she looked more livelier then other. Jamie moved over and patted on the couch cushion. He sat down while kissing her. "Landon, we need to talk," she said with all seriousness in her eyes.  
Landon focused his attention on her. She seemed so worried, and wouldn't look him in his eyes. "I'm pregnant."  
It was what Landon had always wanted, a child with Jamie. But he knew that she couldn't handle it, at least not right now. "Well, we can't. It wouldn't be good. For your health I mean."  
Jamie started to cry. "It will be ok. We can always have kids later." Jamie pressed her fingers against his mouth.  
"Just hold me," she whispered. They sat for a long time when she spoke up again. "No."  
"No what?" Landon said, confused.  
"No. I won't have an abortion. I can't."  
"But you have t-,"  
"No, I don't. It's our child, Landon, I can't just- just- kill it," she murmered. She stared into his eyes. "You understand, don't you?"  
"Yes and no," he replied, "I hate it as much as you do but please, we can have kids later! What if you-." He couldn't continue.  
"That's a risk I'm willing to take."  
"Then it's settled, I suppose," Landon replied and he swooped Jamie in his arms and kissed her, trying to block out bad thoughts.  
  
A/N: Please review for the next chapter! And no flames please! Just 1 review will have me writing a next chapter, but more would be nice =).  
  
Jamie is still recovering and gets pregnant 


	2. Concern's Of The Doctor

"Please," said the doctor, "It is very risky. You're risking your young life! You can have more children later. Don't you think so Landon?"  
"I think it is Jamie's body and Jamie's decision," he replied and looked over at Jamie. "What do you think."  
"I want to have this child," she said, patting her stomach.  
"You know there is a signifigant chance you will die during the last few months of pregnancy or especially the birth."  
The thought of dying when she had just escaped it terrified her through and through. She looked over at Landon, who's face had gone completely white at the thought.  
"But if you must go on with it," started the doctor.  
"Yes, we must," Jamie replied.  
"There is a clinic in Phoenix that is especially for very high risk paitients, especially ones in your," he stopped for a moment, then continued, "condition."  
"We'll think about it," said Landon. He wasn't sure about that. How would it be for Jamie in that delicate time when she might die to be away from her father? And away from the familiar surroundings, and in such a hot place too.  
"Well our time is up," said the doctor, "I'll be hearing from you soon, okay?" Jamie nodded and Landon led her out of the door.  
As they were driving in the car, Landon started conversation. "What do you think about the clinic?" Jamie shrugged, looking out the window. "I don't know. Being so far away from home."  
They drove in silence for a few moments. "I think we should go," blurted Landon, and he started gushing out words, "Jamie I almost lost you once, I can't lose you again. You wouldn't want your child to be raised with out you would you? This is our best chance, Phoenix is. You know it is! We have to go, maybe your father could go to. I don't know I just don't -,"  
"Shh," Jamie said, putting a finger over her frantic husband's lips. They pulled into the driveway. "I know something that will calm your nerves," she said, grabbing his hand and leading him to their room, closing the door softly behind them.  
  
***  
Landon laid in bed, and Jamie's idea actually had calmed him down. He looked over at his angel, now sleeping, listening to her shallow breathing. He was thinking about how his child also laid there, and pressed his ear against her stomach to see if he could hear anything. Jamie stirred. He, disappointedly, couldn't hear anything. But he consoled him self with the fact that she didn't even show yet.  
"What are you doing?" Jamie murmured, looking up at him. He lifted his head from her stomach. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, realizing what he was doing.  
"Did you hear anything Mr. Carter?" asked Jamie, smiling.  
"No," he said sadly.  
Jamie got up and started toward the door. "Want some lemonade?" she asked.  
"Sure."  
She started toward the stairs and then there was a scream and thumping. Landon ran out to the stairs to see Jamie sprawled at the bottom step. "JAMIE!"  
  
A/N I said suspense in the Genre, is this suspense or is this suspense! Even I'm wondering LOL 


	3. We Have To

"Jamie!" Landon cried out again, running down the stairs.  
"I was getting lemonade," Jamie said softly. "I didn't see where the first stair was and I tripped." She continued babbling until Landon quietly shushed her.  
"We have to go to the doctor, now," he said firmly. Jamie didn't respond. He lifted her by the arms and led her to the car. He slid her in gently and then got in himself and started backing out of the driveway. ***  
  
"Well the good news is that the baby doesn't seem to have been hurt by the mishap," the doctor said, "But Jamie is bruised. I recommend that she stay in bed for a few days and then if you decided to go to Phoenix I would go by the end of the week."  
"Thank you doctor," said Landon humbly, looking over to Jamie.  
The doctor started talking again. "Don't let go of her Mr. Carter. She is a keeper." Landon nodded and the doctor left them alone to be in the hospital room.  
"I'm sorry Landon," started Jamie, "I didn't mean to fall."  
"I know you didn't." He sat down on the edge of Jamie's bed. "We have to go to Phoenix."  
She was surprised to hear him consent. Before he had protested it. But then a thought struck her. "What about college," she asked, her hand waving to imply the college.  
"I'll just take a little vacation. I can catch up later. But we need to go, the end of this week. Do you agree?" Landon asked, with a certain tone of eagerness in his voice. She finally consented, under one condition.  
"Dad must go with us."  
  
A/N Yes another short chapter. All well. Anyone please review because it encourages me to write! THANKS! 


	4. Talking With The Reverend

Landon watched the church people file out, until at last the Reverend came out. Landon waved his hand to get his attention, and Mr. Sullivan came over.  
"Why hello Landon! I was surprised when I didn't see you or Jamie at the sermon today."  
"Well, Jamie wished to go but the hospital wouldn't let her. Anyway, I need to talk to you. Well, first off Jamie is pregnant." Landon watched her dad's face wrinkle with concern.  
"But her condition -,"  
"She refuses to have an abortion. So we have decided to go to a hospital in Phoenix where they specialize in high risk pregnancies like me and Jamie's. Well, we were wondering if you would come down to Phoenix too."  
"Well," he started, "I wouldn't be able to be there until the last week before she's due. I can be there by then."  
"That will be some comfort to Jamie, I'm sure. Jamie will probably talk to you later, but right now I want to get back to the hospital." So they said their good byes and Landon was off.  
  
center *** /center  
  
Jamie is home now, more chipper then ever. Landon kissed her and she gave him a cheeky smile. "Don't be getting fresh on me, Mr. Carter," she said jokingly. She leaned against Landon, thinking about how they would be a family of three in a matter of months.  
They packed their bags, Landon traveling light like always while Jamie had six bags of things. "We're not moving there forever you know!" he grunted as he lifted a particularly heavy bag into the back of their newly bought mini van. Apparently, Jamie wanted to fill the van with all their kids. Landon laughed when Jamie told him she wanted eight kids.  
"Eight kids!" he laughed "I'll be pulling my hair out by just three rascals running around. One kid that acts like I did would be plenty to hold me over!"  
"But think of how lonely it was for you being an only child," argued Jamie, "I want my children to always have a big family to lean on."  
They finally finished loading the car. "Well lets get a move on!" exclaimed Jamie, opening the door and sliding inside. Landon slid into his seat and turned on the van. He backed up the driveway and unto the highway. I "It's time for our future to be born," /I he thought, looking at Jamie's stomach.  
  
A/N Thanks to all the review that this and my other story (We Are The Carters) have been receiving! It gives me a reason to keep writing! Thanks again! And BTW most of my chapters will be posted on the weekends so don't be surprised if I upload like 6 chapters Friday night LOL. ~Alyssa aka everlasting-oranges 


	5. The Christmas Song

They have been in Phoenix for 5 months now. Jamie was six months pregnant. The facilities were great, there was a exercise center to keep her in shape, a café, and nice spacious cabins, were Landon and Jamie could be alone. The only thing missing, at least to Jamie, was her father.  
"He'll be here soon, as soon as he can," soothed Landon. But still, it was Christmas Eve and she had never been away from him during the special holiday. To calm herself she sang.  
  
b There is more to this time of year Then sleigh bells and holly Mistletoe and snow These things will come and go  
  
Don't look inside a stocking Don't look under the tree The one thing you're looking for Is something you can't see  
  
Far more precious then silver And more splendid then gold It's something to treasure But its something we can't hold  
  
As long as there's Christmas I truly believe That hope is the greatest of the gifts we'll receive We'll receive  
  
As we all pray together It's a time to rejoice All though we may look different We'll all sing with one voice  
  
As long as there's Christmas I truly believe That hope is the greatest of the gifts well receive As long as our guiding star shines above. /b  
  
Landon sat quietly, watching her sing, listening to her voice rise and fall with the melody of the song. Her songs always made him quiet. He hoped to hear them forever.  
  
A/N I know, this chapter was quite lame. But I have no idea what to write! Or should I just skip to the birth? Please write to me at lys36@aol.com (Please put in the subject something like AWTR or We'll Get Through It Together, so I don't think it's junk and delete it. If you don't have an idea, then just review! Thank you, Alyssa! 


	6. Phone Call

RING! RING! Landon went to the phone, and picked it up. "Uh huh. Yay. Okay. I'm not sure. I'll have to talk to her about it. We may not be able to. Okay. Bye."  
Jamie came into the room, hearing all she could have heard. "What was that?" asked Jamie.  
Landon shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not sure how to say the problem at hand. He didn't want to dampen her spirits, which seemed very high today. She stood, waiting, wondering what the hesitation was. "Jamie," he said, his voice cracking, "Your father ha- has-," his voice stopped, he couldn't speak. There was a short gasp.  
Landon ran over, and caught her just in time. She was out cold. He sat her on the couch and called the clinic's 911.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jamie woke up with fluttering eyes. Landon drew closer, leaning over her face. "Hi," she said, lifting her head. She felt regular, the only reason she had fainted is from shock. She tried to get out of bed but Landon held her back.  
"You can't, at least not until the doctor's say its okay." Jamie opened her mouth to protest, then stopped and clamped it shut. She realized that it wasn't his fault.  
"Send in the doctor, please," she said sweetly. Landon nodded and walked out of the room. Jamie looked around, seeing at least four-dozen roses near her bed in a giant vase. There was a card, and she read it.  
  
I My dearest Jamie,  
  
I'm sorry about your father, and hope that you always remember that he loves you and I love you too.  
  
Love, Landon /I  
  
Jamie smiled and put the card back in its spot. Landon came back in, followed with a doctor. He sat next to her and she squeezed his arm. He looked over at the flowers and she nodded.  
"Well, Mrs. Carter," started the doctor, "How do you feel?"  
"I feel fine. Great in fact, and was wondering if I could leave to go to Beaufort for a couple days."  
They both saw the doctor squirm. She cleared her throat. "Well, once a patient gets here we usually like to keep them here. I understand why you need to go, but on the other hand so far you have had a more difficult then usual pregnancy, even for here. I suggest you stay, but I'm not saying that it would be Iimpossible/I for you to go."  
Jamie's eyes lit up, and Landon knew they would be going home for a bit. "But make it as short as possible," the doctor warned.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N I know, I know, my chapters are always short. But sorry I haven't updated for a while, I have been busy (and not to mention having writers block) hehe. I've almost never had writers block, but now it has decided to come and show its ugly face. PLEASE REVIEW!!! PLEASE! I love reviews. Thanks a lot! ~Alyssa 


	7. Going Home

They were going home. Not for a cheerful reason, mind you, but still it was home. Landon couldn't wait to see his mother, but didn't voice it. He didn't think that would be a good idea, since Jamie has still been her sweet self most of the time, but pregnancy had made her moody at times.  
"Turn here," said Jamie in a low tone. She hadn't sounded cheerful or even normal since the news. Landon turned off unto the road labeled "Beaufort." His mother had been kind enough to allow Jamie and himself to stay at the house a couple days. They pulled up and his mother, Cynthia, came running out.  
"Landon! Jamie! Why, how big you are Jamie," her excited tone stopped there, "I'm so sorry about your father Jamie. It must be horrible." With that, Jamie began to cry. Landon whispered in her ear that she wouldn't have cried this hard in front of her, except the pregnancy.  
Jamie stopped crying, and then looked over to see Landon whispering in his mother's ear. "What are you two whispering about, me?" she asked, then immediately started to cry softly. His mother and Landon exchanged glances. Landon told a little white lie so that she would stop crying.  
"No, Jamie, no. I was just saying how sorry I was Mr. Sullivan, uh dad, died." She stopped crying.  
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Carter. I guess I was acting like a child," Jamie apologized.  
"Oh, no worries dear! It's a hard time your going through, and all that Iwhile/I being pregnant, why, I just couldn't imagine!"  
  
"Well, I have my faith to get me thro- Landon! I just thought of a name for our daughter, if it is a girl! Faith!" she smiled, a thing he had missed for days. He smiled back at her and gathered her in his arms.  
"I can't wait until the sonogram when we get back!" said Landon excitedly. Immediately he turned somber, remembering the reason they were here. "Ow."  
"Ow what? Does something hurt?" asked his mother, examining him.  
"Yay right here," he said, pointing to his throat, "By the lymph nodes. And now that I think about it I kind of have a shortness of breath."  
"Well," started Jamie, "We can have the doctor check you out when we get back. Maybe by then it will go away."  
"Yay, maybe."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jamie and Landon stood next to a perfectly square hole. She wore a simple black dress, he a suit. She stood, teary eyed, leaning against Landon for support. Jamie looked up at the sky, hoping to have some sign of him. All she saw was a clear blue sky with a bit of snow falling. It was the 20th of December, almost Christmas, and she should have been in happy spirits. She thought of the time when she had been lying in the hospital bed and he had been there, and when he needed her she was not there.  
But of course, it would have been impossible to be there. He had gone so quickly. She remembered when she was in the hospital bed, and they talked about the time she had wanted to fly. She wanted to laugh out loud, but suppressed it, it would be inappropriate to laugh at a funeral.  
She must have not have hidden her laughter to well. Landon looked over, a concerned look in his eyes, then turned away and rubbed his neck. I "His neck must be really bothering him,"/I Jamie thought.  
Then they both turned their attention to the minister, who was about to start the procession.  
  
A/N Hehe I had a writers block then I came up with, uh, two chapters. I think. LOL. Anyways please review and much love! 


	8. Saying Goodbye

Jamie and Landon sat with his mother, Cynthia, in her living room. "So you guys are leaving tomorrow?" Cynthia asked.  
Jamie nodded, staring at the T.V. screen but not really watching the old western flick. "I wanted to stay, but Landon repeated what the doctor said." She looked over at Landon, who was rubbing his sore neck, and then back to stare out the window and muttered, "But make it as short as possible."  
Landon was truly sorry that she couldn't stay, she needed more time to grieve. But even she agreed they needed to go back, just in case. Jamie got up, suddenly, and instinctively Landon got up also. She held her hand out. "No," she said sadly, "I'm going to see my father. Alone."  
It was raining out, and Landon was concerned as he watched her put on a raincoat. "Can I at least give you a drive?" he asked.  
She shook her head. "I need to take a walk," she responded shortly and left.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jamie read her beloved father's headstone.  
  
bRev. Hegbert Sullivan Born: June 17th, 1931 Died: December 1st, 2003/b  
  
She remembered that she had been born to him when he was fifty-five, and how unusual that was these days. She looked over to her right, where her mother lay. She had only been thirty-five, though she had heard she was a wispy woman. She thought of the six miscarriages before herself and thought that she had finally born a live child, only to be deceased her self. Her mother had died on her birthday, in fact. So really, daddy and her had never celebrated on her birthday, it was too sad. "Daddy?" she whispered to the freshly dug earth, "I have to go back to Phoenix. Just until I give birth, and if I do happen to," she stopped a moment to regain her composure, then continued, "die, please meet me, because I wouldn't know what to do. Oh yay, and please bring mother with. I have been dying-," she stopped in mid sentence, laughing. Dying? "I don't know if I can leave Landon behind, or our child. And what if the child goes?" She sighed in frustration, wishing she knew the answers. "Well daddy, and momma too, I just wanted to say that I love you and see you soon, whether right here or up above." With that, she kissed her hand then touched it to each headstone in turn. She walked quickly back to Cynthia's house. It was now pouring out and she was sure that Landon was worried, if not already searching for her. She walked into the door to see a fully rain coated Landon, boots and all, ready to go look for her. "Good, you're back. Then I want to show you something." He stripped off his coat then helped her with her coat. He went over to the T.V. where a tape laid and handed it to her. "What's this?" she asked. He pointed to the V.C.R. "Put it in." Jamie put in the tape and there was a blurred vision for a second then it was focused. She gasped. It was a tape of the play from high school; she knew this is where Landon fell in love with her, supposedly. She sat down on the couch without taking her eyes of the T.V. "Only Hope" came on and she sang along. "It sounds even better when you're singing with yourself," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her now enlarged waist and squeezed her gently.  
Cynthia walked in and saw the T.V. "Ah, the play! That was the best performance there was of that play," she said, winking at them both.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Landon shut the trunk door of their car roughly down and still it popped up quickly and hit him in the jaw. "Ow," he muttered, holding the door down by sitting on top of it. Jamie came out, and raised an eyebrow. "Ready to go?" she asked.  
"Sure," he said, hopping down. "Did it latch?" he wondered. Success. He hopped into the drivers seat and turned the ignition. "Seatbelts," Jamie reminded him. They were on their way back to Phoenix. 


	9. Telling Jamie

He and Jamie were now settled back into their Phoenix apartment, when Landon decided to get his neck checked out. "Might as well," he said, "We get it free from the clinic anyway."  
So he went to the doctor for Soon-To-Be fathers, Dr. Hipping. He sat in the waiting room patiently until a nurse came out and called, "Landon Carter!"  
He followed her into a back room and was told to be seated and that the doctor would be with him shortly. "Great," he thought, "More waiting."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The doctor came in and shook Landon's hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Carter."  
"Same here," he replied.  
"So what seems to be the problem," he asked.  
"Well, I have been having severe neck pains," he said, "At first, it wasn't so bad, but now I take pain medication."  
"Mm, hm," was all the doctor said to reply. He ran his hand over his neck then stopped abruptly. "We need to perform a biopsy," he said shortly.  
"What do you need to do a biopsy for?" asked Landon.  
"Well, you have a very enlarged lymph node, which could be numerous things. We need to cut a piece of it out, maybe the whole thing, for tests. This could be very serious, so we need to do it soon. Tomorrow morning, nine o' clock, be at the surgery center, please don't be late. Goodbye, Mr. Carter," and with that the doctor was gone.  
Landon went home to tell Jamie.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I have to have a biopsy, tomorrow morning," said Landon, sitting next to Jamie on the couch later that day.  
"What?" asked Jamie, who was half asleep.  
"I have to have a biopsy," he repeated.  
"Well, I'll be here, I mean there," she said groggily. She was seven months pregnant, and it had taken it's toll on her more then a regular, healthy woman would. He felt sorry for her.  
"You don't have to go, hunny. Really, it's not a big procedure," he lied. Really, it was surgery, so it was a big deal. But he didn't want her to worry when she was at home either.  
He stroked her hair as she fell asleep, and watched her fall asleep, wondering what the next day would bring.  
  
A/N: Please review! I live off reviews he he. What's up with Landon.. HM... I wonder! 


	10. News The Bad Kind

It was a couple days after his biopsy-surgery, and Landon was going back to the doctor's office to find out the results. Jamie was going to, even though she was tired. "Landon Carter," called out a nasal voice by a door. They followed her into the doctor's office where the doctor was already there. He looked anything but jubilant.  
"Please, Mr. and Mrs. Carter, sit down," he said, pointing to the couch. They sat while the doctor talked.  
"Well, we have the results of the biopsy. I'm afraid I have bad news. It's lymphoma," he said sympathetically.  
"What's lymphoma?" asked Jamie.  
"It's a type of cancer that originates in the lymph nodes."  
"Oh," she said quietly.  
  
~*~*Jamie's POV*~*~  
  
Why? When we had just escaped cancer, it comes' knocking on our door again. What will we do? What if I have a relapse, and we're both sick. What will happen to our child? Will he or she be an orphan? I'm so confused, and I feel so rundown. I just want to cry, but not in front of the doctor. I'm holding back my tears for the car.  
  
~*~*End of POV*~*~  
  
Landon looked over to Jamie, who was blinking rapidly. "You will have to undergo chemotherapy, I'm sure your familiar with it," he said, nodding to Jamie, "And hopefully that will work." "Well, thank you doctor. We will be talking to you." And they left to the car.  
As soon as the car door was shut, Jamie started to cry loudly. "Shhh," calmed Landon, "It will be OK. I won't leave you, just like you didn't leave me." Jamie closed her eyes and leaned against him, listening to his voice. His voice always seemed to calm her, no matter what the situation was.  
Landon pulled up to their apartment and Jamie went inside with out a word. Landon decided to make her favorite food, spaghetti, to cheer her spirits. But when he set it in front of her all she did was move it to one end of the plate to the other with her fork.  
Jamie finally decided to talk to him, "I always thought that if I died in birth, you would be here. But that doesn't seem to be now. What if I die, and then you die. What about," she stopped and patted her stomach.  
"My mother would take care of him or her," he said. At that, Jamie shook her head.  
"You want your child to be raised the same way you were?" And that vetoed that idea. Landon got to thinking. "Well, how about my father, and my step mother. I love my step mother, even though I was always angry for her for "taking" my dad away. She is actually a very nice lady."  
"Well, daddy could raise-," she stopped, and a sad look filled her eyes. "Never mind," she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears and once again she was blinking heavily.  
"Now please Jamie, you know I can't stand to see you cry!" cried out Landon, "And that's all I have seen for days. Where is the Jamie I knew?"  
"That Jamie can't come out with her father being gone."  
"Your father would have wanted that Jamie to be out for the world to see."  
  
A/N Please review! I haven't been getting many review lately and it's making me sad :(. Thanks for reading! 


	11. Museum and a Dinner

A/N WARNING: Profanity is used in this chapter.  
  
Landon decided to plan a special night out, they hadn't had one in so long because of all of the crazy things going on. There was a museum about 30 miles away, called the Planet and Star Museum. "It has Jamie written all over it," he thought to himself. After that he had reserved a table for two at Glamour, a new restaurant. He couldn't wait, and hoped that Jamie wouldn't be too tired tonight.  
He had heavily hinted she should rest today, though she probably didn't pay his hints any heed. When he came home from college, he found Jamie pushing a vacuum with one hand and dusting with the other. "Jamie! Why are you cleaning? You know there's a maid." Jamie was startled by the way he had barged in.  
"I'm sorry?" she said. "I didn't realize I was under such a short leash."  
Landon instantly wanted to kick himself. "That's not what I meant," he apologized, "I was. Well, I was planning a night out and now it looks like your going to be too tired."  
Jamie burst out laughing and after awhile sat on the couch, clutching her enlarged stomach, panting, trying to catch her breath. "I just put on an act," she confessed, "As soon as you came up, I grabbed the vacuum and the duster. Really, I've been lying around all day. I could go out and dance the night away." To demonstrate, she let her hands fly up and started to dance around Landon.  
Landon laughed, not seeing this much energy coming from Jamie for a long time. He grabbed her hand and twirled her around. She smiled at him between twirls. When he stopped twirling, she whispered into his ear, "I love you, Mr. Carter."  
He hugged her. "Get ready to go out," he said softly. She was soon ready and they went out.  
Jamie and Landon had a great time at the museum, and Jamie was amazed at the gigantic telescope at the end of it. She probably could have stayed there for hours, but they were supposed to be at the restaurant at eight.  
They got there and were seated. "These tables are really close together," Jamie said.  
They were having their usual talks. "I'm not feeling so good," said Jamie.  
"Do you want to go?" suggested Landon.  
"Well - nnnnn-," she said as she fainted, falling onto the next table behind her.  
"What the fuck?" cried out the guy sitting behind them.  
"Jamie!" he screamed. He went over to where Jamie laid, unconscious, and started to pick her up.  
"What the hell is wrong with your woman? Is she one of those fuckin' nutcases?" the man yelled in Landon's face.  
Landon was furious. He punched the guy in his face, making blood appear instantly. Then immediately picked up Jamie, and waited for the ambulance outside the front door of Glamour, with Jamie on his lap. The ambulance soon came, and he and Jamie were off.  
  
A/N Please R/R!!! TY! 


	12. A New Life

The ambulance came. "She didn't faint for just any reason. She's going into labor!" cried out the man.  
"Take her to the DPC!" yelled Landon. The DPC was the Difficult Pregnancies Clinic, where they had been staying. The man nodded and told the driver. Jamie was awake again, panting, asking what was wrong over and over again. "Nothing's wrong," said Landon, "You're just having the baby now."  
"Nooooo," moaned Jamie and closed her eyes. But Landon was glad the baby had made it this long. They had been told she might go into labor as early as four months. But she was 7 months, only 3 months off! He saw this as something to celebrate, but Jamie had wanted to carry it full term, but it's not like she had a choice.  
They arrived to the clinic when the birth doctor came out. "Jamie! I never thought you would carry this long! You did so well!" she congratulated but Jamie only saw the three weeks she was missing from being normal. And she told Landon that often during the ambulance ride. "But you're not normal! Your Jamie!" he had told her. But she had just laughed at him.  
Landon made calls on his cell phone to his mother and his father and stepmother. Jamie, after hearing so many calls, grabbed the phone and set it on a counter. "Hey, pay attention to me! I'm the one giving birth over here!" she joked, even though it was true.  
Landon laughed and helped her with her breathing. "It's going to be a long night and morning," warned the doctor as she checked to see how far along Jamie was. "Great, just great," replied Jamie.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"It's time to push Jamie! Come on!" yelled the doctor above the screams of Jamie. Landon hurt for her, literally. He was having "sympathy pains," or at least that's what the doctor's called it. "Push!" a scream. "Push!" another scream. This pattern continued until there was a baby's cry. Jamie instantly stopped screaming and looked at her child.  
"It's a girl," congratulated the doctor.  
"Faith!" cried out Jamie, holding out her arms. The doctor shook her head. "Since this a premature baby, we have to check her out before we can leave her alone," said the doctor. "But as soon as were done we'll bring Faith down, okay?" Jamie nodded and the doctor left, wheeling the baby in the infant hospital crib.  
Jamie cried. She wanted Faith Inow/I. Landon comforted her, but didn't know what to do.  
  
A/N: Please R/R! I'll probably be slowing down in my writing because I don't get enough reviews :P Oh yay, that was a threat!! HEHE, not that anyone cares. Or do they? Oh, BTW if you ever want to email me to like yell at me or praise me (ohhh praise!) or flame, whatever my email is lys36@aol.com !!  
  
~~~Alyssa~~~ 


	13. A Whole Bunch Of Faith

Faith was born on a cold morning on January 9th, 2003. Landon stood by the big window where all the fathers and other people gawked at the babies. He laughed. It made him think of a fish bowl, with the babies being the fish.  
He walked down the halls, amazed at how they could keep it so clean. He went into room 56 without even knocking. As he saw the bed, he gasped. It had been the first time he had saw Jamie after the birth. She looked, well to say it bluntly, Igray/I. She finally noticed Landon, and smiled at him even though it pained her. "Hi."  
"Hey," he said, not knowing what to do. He stood there like a deer to a hunter, scared to say something wrong. Jamie patted on the bed, "Sit Landon," she said quietly, and he did. He would have done anything she wanted him to do, even jumped of a bridge.  
"So how are you?" asked Jamie. Landon almost went crazy. How could she ask how he was when she was in such a state? It amazed him how unabsorbed she was with herself. Maybe too much, in fact.  
"I'm fine. And you?" he asked tenderly, grabbing her slender hand and rubbing it in his much larger hands. "I'm okay, I guess," she said, still quiet, "Just a little worn down."  
To Landon, she looked more then rundown. She looked like she was dy- Landon stopped in mid-thought. How could he think like that? Jamie wouldn't die. She couldn't die , not with her finally having a child! A single tear ran down his cheek, and Jamie, as weak as she was, raised her hand to wipe it away.  
"Why are you crying?" asked Jamie, truly not knowing in her blissful happiness of having Faith.  
"How can you say 'Why are you crying?'" he asked, "I'm crying because of you, and the baby, and I'm afraid of losing you." With that, he broke down, grabbing the sheet on the bed and crumpling it in his hand.  
"But you'll never lose me," said Jamie innocently. "I mean, think about it. I will always be around you. Every time a sunbeam comes shining into the window, part of it will be me. And every time the wind just seems to wrap around you, it's really me." This didn't make him feel any better. He would rather have Jamie be with him physically, not just in the wind.  
"It's ironic, really," started Landon, "As soon as I met you, I gained faith quickly. But now that your," he gulped, unsure he should continue, but did, "dying, I'm losing it just as quickly."  
"But you just gained a whole bunch of Faith!" laughed Jamie, "Our daughter!" Landon laughed to, but soon stopped. Really, he had laughed so Jamie would think he had lightened up.  
Jamie's breathing got a little rougher, and she coughed. "Jamie? Jamie are you okay?" She nodded, but he could tell she wasn't.  
"Will you take me home Landon?" Landon had been expecting her to say that. "Yes, whatever you want," he said sweetly.  
  
A/N I want to thank all the people who reviewed (Especially the Silent Reaper, who reviewed on almost EVERY chapter! TY! Oh, please R/R! (Yes, I am going to write that every chapter because I LOVE reviews! 


	14. Unexpected

Jamie was mad, even though she didn't show it. They wouldn't let her go home! "Please, wait a couple days Mrs. Carter!" pleaded the nurse. Jamie wanted to be home for her 19th birthday, and her death. She knew she was going to die, even though the doctors said there was some chance. The chance was all Landon lived on, so she said nothing.  
She suddenly had pains, like she was going into labor again. "Jesus!" screamed the nurse, "Run her to the birth room!" The birth room? Why was she going there again? She was too tired to ask, but she wanted to know so she forced the words out of her mouth. "What are you doing?"  
"There apparently was a child hidden where the ultrasound couldn't see it." Now Jamie was glad they refused to let her go home. What if this had happened at home? Landon heard the news, but they made him stay in the waiting room. He paced back in forth until he thought he might vomit from nervousness. He went up to the secretary, a short, brown haired woman with a shirt that looked like someone had spilled a couple of different colored paint cans down it. "Is Jamie Carter out of the delivery room?"  
"Sir, you just asked three minutes ago! Please sit down, I will tell you when she's out," she was getting impatient with him. Landon sat down, but immediately stood up again and began to pace once more. "Sir, please!" called out one of the fathers, clutching his stomach, "You're making me sick!"  
"Sorry," muttered Landon, forcing himself to be still. "  
"Sir, you're required at the birthing room, Mrs. Carter is going to have the child." Landon jumped up instantly and ran to the room.  
"Landon," said Jamie weakly as he came in. "I didn't know there was two."  
"Nobody did," Landon said calmingly. "It will be okay." Jamie shook her head, knowing she wouldn't make it. She thought there was a glimmer of hope before, but now that she had to give birth again, she would be too tired. Landon still seemed to believe. "I wish, that I had written more letters, and addressed it to two of them." She pointed to the letters that she had just written to Faith. "Please, write to, uh, whatever you decide to name him or her. All I require is that they are loved."  
"Jamie," he choked, "You talk like you're dying." Jamie gave him a sad smile and slowly it was starting to sink in. He sank down into a chair.  
"Jamie, please pay attention! Jamie, try to push! I know you're tired, but you have to try!" She tried furiously, but to no prevail. She started to cry in despair.  
"It's okay Jamie, we can help, don't worry," soothed the doctor. Jamie's eyelids fluttered. "Jamie?" cried out Landon, "Jamie, don't leave me! Don't! Don't you want to watch them grow? Jamie!" But it was no use, his words fell upon deaf ears. But Jamie was trying to stay awake, to stay breathing, but she had to think about breathing now.  
"BREATHE!" she commanded her lungs, " PUSH AND BREATHE! BREATHE! PUSH! BREATHE! BREATHE!" he head screamed at the rest of her body. Her body didn't seem to want to though, but she kept trying to fight. "BREATHE!" 


	15. Have You Suffered?

Jamie's breath became regular again. She was relieved. Maybe she could sing a song to the little child that was coming out, and calm Landon down too. Jamie sang to him, to calm him for what was going to happen next.  
  
"You write me up and then I fall for you You lay me down and then I call for you Stumbling on reasons that are far and few I let it all come down and then some for you  
  
Pretty baby Don't you leave me I have been singing smiles for you Pretty baby Why can't you see You are the one I belong to  
  
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm For you the sun that breaks the storm I'll be all right And I'll sleep sound As long as you keep coming around  
  
Pretty baby.  
  
And no most things can't last forever But there are lessons that you'll never learn Oh just the sense of you Makes me hurt So how does your love make me better  
  
Pretty baby Don't you leave me I have been singing smiles for you Pretty baby Why can't you see You are the one I belong to  
  
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm For you the sun that breaks the storm I'll be all right And I'll sleep sound As long as you keep coming around  
  
Well can you Hold me And I will never let go When you touch me And it's me that you want Pretty baby. Oh the place that you hold in my heart.  
  
Her voice trailed off. It had been getting weaker through the whole song. Once again, her eyelids fluttered. "Doctor, do something!" he yelled.  
"I'm sorry, there is nothing we can do," said the doctor, "But we may be able to save the child, so that is what all of us are going toward right now." Landon held Jamie's slender hand. He looked at her hand, realizing how skinny she really was. The bones protruded out of the hand, there was not fat or flesh, just bone.  
He whispered to Jamie, "Have you suffered?" A single tear went down his cheek with her reply, "It has been very painful, yes, but I have not suffered. I have led a great life, and am leaving two children on this earth. I feel that my duty is done."  
"You wouldn't like to live?"  
"Why, of course I would love to live. I didn't say that. I just, well, I feel I have done a good job with what I had in this life." Jamie sat, staring into Landon's tear-filled eyes. "Landon, you knew this was coming. I warned you before we got married. The only thing I regret in this life is that you had to suffer."  
Landon shook his head, "I didn't suffer. I had the most wonderful time of my life. But I still think you might live yet, if you believe."  
Jamie shook her head sadly at Landon, "You still don't believe? Landon, I'm dying. I could have made it; maybe, with only one birth but this one is putting me over the top. Just make sure you take care of your Lymphoma. I do not want my children to be orphans." Landon nodded, promising that he would get taken care of.  
"Well, if you have to die, then," he gulped thickly then continued, "Tell your father 'hi' for me."  
"Landon, I feel as if I may live a couple more days, maybe. I want to see my children as soon as possible. Maybe even help with the other one's name?"  
"I hope you live more then just a couple days!" cried out Landon. One of the nurses came up.  
"Mr. Carter, you're making her to upset. Perhaps it would be better if you waited in the waiting room."  
"NO!" cried out Jamie with as much energy as she could. "Leave him here, or I will be even more upset!"  
"Very well," replied the nurse and went back to help the doctor.  
"Okay, Jamie, we need you to try pushing again," said the doctor. Jamie seemed to have a little energy back and put it toward pushing. Jamie screamed as the child came sliding out. "It's a girl!" cried out the doctor.  
"Twin girls!" gasped Jamie, "How about Hope?"  
"What about hope?" asked Landon.  
"No, no, I mean Hope as a name."  
"I love it," said Landon, pushing back her bangs and kissing her on the forehead. He said a silent prayer, hoping Jamie would be alive in the morning.  
  
A/N: By the way, this song was "Pretty Baby" by Vennessa Carlton (Is that how you spell it?) Oh, it's a good time for a disclaimer. I don't own anything toward A Walk To Remember. All I own is that clinic, Faith, and Hope.  
  
Oh and I realize that EVERYONE uses the names Faith and Hope but they just fit, don't they?  
  
Please R/R  
  
~~Alyssa~~ 


	16. Visiting

It was two weeks later, and Jamie was home. The girls were still at the hospital for another week. The doctors and medical staff were amazed that Jamie had lived this long. She even seemed to be getting better, sort of. It still seemed that every other day would be her last. But she stuck through it all.  
Landon was talking to Eric on the phone one night. "What if the only reason she is going through all this pain and hanging on is because you won't let her die?" Eric asked.  
"I don't think that's it," he thought about it more, "Well.Maybe. I don't know."  
"Why don't you ask her?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Landon tiptoed down the pine floor hallway until he got to the bedroom. He opened the door slowly, and saw Jamie laying in their bed, staring at the T.V. "Hi hunny," said Landon, entering the room.  
"Hello Landon," she said weakly, patting on the bed. "So what's up?"  
"Oh, nothing really," he lied. "Well, maybe there is something up. Are you hanging on just because I asked you to?"  
Jamie laughed, a thing she hadn't done in a month. "Well, ¼ of it," she said, "another ¼ is for me, and another ¼ is for Faith, and another ¼ for Hope."  
Landon was relieved. He thought he had pressured her, but it seemed she didn't take it that way. "Want to go see the kids?" Jamie nodded, but was disgusted with herself when Landon had to pick her up and put her in a wheelchair. "There you go," he said sweetly, kissing her. He wheeled her to the van, and then picked her up and set her gently in the van.  
Landon wheeled the blue wheelchair to the back and folded it up, jumped in the driver's seat and took off.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Yes sir?" asked the receptionist at the clinic. "Mr. and Mrs. Carter, here to see Hope and Faith Carter."  
"Oh yes, right away," said the receptionist, giving the young couple a sympathetic glance. "Follow me." Landon followed the nurse, pushing along Jamie. She hated being a burden. They went onto the elevator and the nurse gave them directions before letting the doors shut. "Just go up to floor 3 and then go to your left, you can't miss it." With that, they said their goodbyes and parted.  
"Landon, I don't like this," said Jamie suddenly.  
"Like what?" asked Landon, pushing her out of the elevator as the doors opened.  
"I don't like being a burden," she murmured.  
"Who said you were being a burden?" asked Landon, turning a corner.  
"I said it," she said, "I mean you having to cook, and clean, and pick me up and set me down, doesn't it just make you angry?"  
"The only thing that makes me angry is that you can't walk or clean or cook even if you wanted to!" Landon cried out. He had never thought of how she felt having him serve on her hand and foot before.  
They instantly stopped talking as they came around the corner to the large nursery, one of five in this clinic. There was a nurse waiting for them  
"Mr. and Mrs. Carter?" she asked. Landon nodded and she ushered us inside. "Here are Faith and Hope, sleeping right next to each other." The nurse left to give them some time alone.  
"There so tiny," Jamie said in awe. She put her hand through the hole in the clear plastic case that covered Hope, "Hi secret. You just decided to hide, didn't you," she cooed. "Oh, I hope I watch you grow up," she said to both of them. She wheeled herself over to Faith. "Hello Faith," she said, playing with the newborns pink, wrinkled hand.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
When they returned, Jamie felt like she had a little strength, so she decided to write more letters while she could. By the end of the night, Faith and Hope each had a stack of letters an inch thick, each one different. Some for their birthday, some just because, why she died (making sure to tell them they didn't cause her demise), why they were named what they were, and things like that. And in between the letters were a few for Landon, but she wanted him to find them gradually, not read them all right now.  
Landon walked in and Jamie smiled at him, showing him the piles of white paper with purple ink. Landon smiled as he read the letter for Hope's first birthday, then read Faith's first birthday. To his surprise, they were very different, but both wonderful. He knew they would read these letters to death. "Landon, will you go get the camera, the one where the photo comes out right away." Landon did and came back to Jamie combing her hair, "Just a second," she said, continuing to brush her hair. "Okay," she said and smiled, "But take two." Landon snapped three pictures, one for himself. He decided to himself that he was going to carry it around, and take photos of her before she died - if she died.  
"Want to go to the park?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The park had always been their favorite when they had been dating. They hadn't been there for ages. Jamie could walk now, a little, and she leaned against them as they walked. 


	17. 200 Pictures

Landon looked over the pictures he had taken at the park, the movies, or whenever. He had a whole collection of them from just these four days. There must be over 200 pictures of her.  
Jamie had gotten steadily worse. She once again couldn't work her legs.  
"Landon," she said, hitting the other side of the bed weakly with her hands. "Hm?" Landon asked in a sleepy daze. "It's time," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. It wasn't fair. She had only seen her children twice. Landon was instantly alert as he turned on the light, reaching for the phone. She grabbed his hand before he could take it. "No," she said, "I don't want any nurses to watch me die. All I want is for you to be here, until the end." She spoke so quietly, he could barely hear her.  
"Why do you have to leave me, Jamie?" he asked. All she responded with was a, "It must be in the Lord's plan that I do something better up above." He watched her close her eyes. Her breathing was hard and raspy, and not very often. "JAMIE! Please don't leave me. Please," he sobbed. He realized that he was being selfish, but he didn't care anymore. She opened her eyes once more, "I love you Landon Carter. Please, love and sing to our children, and to get yourself healthy, for the children. Promise?" He nodded, tears falling down his cheeks, "Good," she said, now satisfied in life. She closed her eyes, and left this world. Jamie Elizabeth Sullivan was gone, never to roam anymore. That day was their last night together, it was her last breath, her last song that day, and her last kiss.  
  
A/N Sorry this chapter was so short, but I thought that her death was what should end the chapter. 


	18. The End Sort Of And Author Note

THE END! Wow, I am so happy to actually *finish* a story! Well, I want thank the ppl who reviewed: thevoicewithin, The Silent Reaper, Kelly (chatterbox6688@sbcglobal.net), Shanelover10, Duckygirl, and EnchantedDreamer1. If I missed someone I am really sorry. I plan to do a Part 2 soon, but I don't know when I'll start. Hopefully soon, but I am also working on "Did You Ever Think About" which, frankly, I like better than this story but I will write for both. I will write for this one more because of The Silent Reaper, she reviews so much ( I love you! LOL! Well, any way all those questions you were asking Reaper, they were so muddled I couldn't understand! And I couldn't reply because I do not know your email. So, yay. Well, TY for reading and watch out for Part 2! 


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